


I Know Your Silence Is A Deadly Sound

by MoAv



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Building trust, Friends to Lovers, Gay, M/M, Mentions/decriptions of rape, PTSD, Sexual Content, cutting toxic people out, important support, living through trauma, making new family, mature - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:08:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23086774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoAv/pseuds/MoAv
Summary: Yuri Plisetsky is living through unimaginable trauma, but his friend (or more?) is there to help him whenever Yuri needs him. Yuri focuses on getting treatment, building a new family and cutting toxic people from his life. But how will everything effect him as time goes on? What does his future hold?
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Leo de la Iglesia/Lee Seung Gil, Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky, Phichit Chulanont/Christophe Giacometti
Comments: 10
Kudos: 51





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yuri 20  
> Beka 23  
> Viktor 32  
> Yuuri 28  
> Yakov 74

Song I thought of for this prompt: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DuSxJHiYpeU

*The Nickname “Yurs” is intentional not a typo*

Chapter 1

“Yurs. Just talk.” Otabek’s brows crinkled and a small frown was forming on his down-turned face. He gently rubbed the back of the smaller being that was currently clinging to his jacket and leaving wet spots on his t-shirt.  
  
The blonde just shook his head slightly and stayed firmly attached to Otabek. A quiet sob escaped the shaking tiger and he clung tighter to the leather jacket already trapped in his fists.  
  
“Tell me. It’s okay.” Otabek slowly pet the head buried in his chest and took a deep breath. This was going nowhere fast and it had already been an hour of getting no answers.  
  
“I can’t. I don’t feel safe.” Yurio finally sobbed out. He began shivering harder and drew his knees impossibly close to his chest and the hyperventilation was audible and terrifying. Yuri released Otabek and turned slightly and began to rock back and forth in a tight ball.  
  
Otabek quickly wrapped his own arms around Yuri and messaged the smaller hands that were clinging to trembling shoulders. Otabek then turned on the city bench and put one leg behind and the other in front of Yuri and used them to squeeze the younger man closer to his own body.  
  
“Yuri. Follow my breathing. You are safe. You are with me. Deep breath in. Good.” Otabek continued to firmly hold Yuri and take even breathes to guide him. Panic and anxiety attacks were common with Yuri since his mother stole his medications all the time. Yuri couldn’t ever escape her. She always somehow found him and was always able to break into his new places. Yuri decided it would be easier to just stop moving and let it happen. Only Otabek and his Grandfather knew about all of this and were sworn to secrecy lest the wrath of the tiger be unleashed.  
  
Yuri finally started breathing normally again and his hands finally relaxed under Otabek’s own. His legs stayed rigid but as Otabek kept the pressure on Yuri’s body with his thighs the blonde was able to relax after another 30 seconds. Yuri used a pink sweater paw to wipe at his face while Otabek tried to move his legs to sit normally again.  
  
“Don’t.” Yuri’s hands smacked down onto the leg in front of him and his grasp was almost painfully strong. He refused to give Otabek his legs back when the older man tried to convince him to let go.  
  
“Yurs I’m right here. You don’t need to be scared.” Otabek once again tried to gently move his numb leg but the scared boy would only tighten his grip and furiously shake his head while keeping his face hidden with his armpit-length hair.  
  
“I can’t. My mind won’t let go. It’s racing. I want it to stop.” A shaky voice said from behind a curtain of gold. A sniffle was heard and then small shoulders began to slightly shake again.  
  
Otabek had an idea and began to take out his phone. The hands on his thigh suddenly became painful and the wince on Otabek’s face showed that. He silently untangled his headphones and handed them to Yurio.  
  
“Put them in.” The dark-haired man waved the earbuds at the blonde and once they were in the smaller man’s ears Otabek began to play one of Yuri’s calming artists. Suggi played at Yuri’s favorite volume and the man took a deep and shaky breath. As spotify went through Suggi’s discography Yuri became more and more relaxed.  
  
Otabek slowly lowered his numb leg from the front of Yurio’s body and straightened out the one behind the blonde’s body. He slowly pet the light strands of hair and brushed them from Yuri’s eyes. The legs that had been glued to Yuri’s chest started to relax and he finally closed his eyes and took a true deep and relaxing breath.  
  
“Better now?” Otabek slowly rubbed circles into the smaller man’s back and tilted his head to make eye contact with Yuri. The green-eyed tiger looked into his eyes and nodded, resting his exhausted head on Otabek’s chest.  
  
“Yeah. Thanks.” Yuri hadn’t raised his head and his eyes stared blankly ahead. He was obviously reliving and processing whatever had happened and Otabek knew he would tell him whatever that was in a few minutes.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Yuri continued to listen to the music Otabek had given him and just breathed. He felt so afraid and the only person he knew he could depend on right now was Beka. He had moved back to Russia for a bit to compare the training he had been getting and how it affected his skating. Otabek had gotten more and more worried as Yuri had previously described what his mother had done to him and how it was getting worse.  
  
Yuri couldn’t go to Yakov because the man had moved to a small studio apartment and there was absolutely no room for another person. Lilia lived in the apartment above her ballet studio so no room there. Plus his skate dads (he would never say that to their faces) lived in Japan so that was hopeless. Beka lived in a two-bedroom apartment though and had his guest room open for family and friends. Yuri never asked about it though because he didn’t want to take up that space and then leave Beka with no guest room.  
  
Yuri let out a big sigh and buried his head back into his knees. He was trying not to cry but the damn tears kept escaping. He sniffled and tensed when he felt those legs come up around him again while gentle hands pulled him into a warm chest. The music kept playing and Yuri kept reliving the horror his mother had just put him through. The flashes that went through his mind made him whimper and Beka just held him closer and tried to make sure the blonde in his lap knew he was safe where he was.  
  
“I just… I don’t understand why. How could she?” Yuri managed to whisper. He really was confused. How could his mother do that to him? She didn’t even seem to feel bad about it. The smaller man shivered and pulled his jacket tighter around his thin body in a lame effort to warm up.  
  
“Here.” Otabek unzipped his winter leather coat and motioned for Yuri to get closer. Yuri did and unexpectedly Beka wrapped the blonde’s arms around his waist and then wrapped the jacket around them as tightly as possible.  
  
“Do you have a fever?” Yuri mumbled against the hot chest that he laid on. He didn’t dare look up and show the blush on his already wind-burned cheeks.  
  
“No. I run hot, remember? You always stick your feet out from under the blanket when I sleep over because I’m so warm.” Otabek huffed a laugh and looked down at the head tucked into his hoodie front.  
“Yeah. Sorry. Forgot.” The blonde mumbled as he shivered once more. He had a sweater on and a thin jacket over that but it was almost pointless against the night air and wind.  
  
“Yurs I know it’ll be scary to walk in the dark but would you like to just go to my apartment for the night?” Otabek roughly rubbed Yuri’s back under his jacket but over the pink hoodie. It generated a small amount of heat that Yuri could slightly feel.  
  
“I th-th-think that would b-be smart,” Yuri struggled to say through chattering teeth. His body quaked with shivers even though Beka was a human furnace.  
  
“Okay let’s go.” Beka slowly unraveled the blonde from his body and helped him off of the bench. They began walking and exited the park when Yuri stopped walking. Otabek turned to see if his friend was okay when he saw the head under the pink hood shaking to say ‘no’. Otabek then remembered that this way would go past the windows of the apartment Yuri lived in and they couldn’t chance being seen and then followed.  
  
Otabek nodded his head and changed paths with Yuri in tow. Suddenly there was a loud bang, perhaps a trash can being knocked over by an animal. Yuri’s hand flashed out and grabbed Otabek by a sleeve and he couldn’t move.  
  
“It’s okay. Just a trash can.” Otabek once again squeezed the slightly smaller man to his chest and massaged the back of his head while murmuring comforting words.  
  
After a couple of minutes the two were able to start walking again but not without Yuri desperately holding onto Otabek’s hand. The pink-clad party still hadn’t talked about anything and was still shaking horribly, but Otabek knew better than to pry.  
  
After about fifteen minutes the pair was in an elevator and heading to the fourth floor. As they neared apartment 102 Otabek had to ask Yuri to get his keys out of his front pocket. A pink sweater paw clung to the hand he needed while the other hand couldn’t reach. With his blush hidden with his hood and messy hair Yuri reached in and got the keys. There was an enamel motorcycle and an enamel chibi tiger hanging from the keychain that made Yuri almost smile.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MAJOR R*PE WARNING  
> MAJOR MENTIONS

Chapter 3 

“Kay come on in.” Otabek turns to the shivering blonde and places a hand on his back to gently guide him inside. The smaller man is shivering still and can’t seem to warm up. Beka also notices that tears are still in the younger man’s eyes and his brows slightly furrow in concern.  
  
“Thank you for taking me in. I’m glad Potya is with Grandpa. I don’t think I could’ve left her.” Yuri hands Otabek the leather jacket the ravenette had given him half way through their walk because the blonde had been shivering so hard.  
  
“You know, if you want her closer, I can take her. It would only be an extra 20 dollars a month for rent.” Otabek carefully took the jacket and walked into his living room with Yuri in tow.  
  
“I don’t wanna burden you. A pet is a lot of new stuff plus I don’t have the extra money.” Yuri sat down lightly on the couch only after Otabek had invited him to. He did his best not to touch the fabric as his clothes were wet and he didn’t want to make anything dirty.  
  
“Yurs. You are not a burden and neither is Potya.” Otabek stopped in front of Yuri and gently patted his shoulder. He frowned when he noticed Yuri slightly flinch away from his touch.  
  
“Okay. Um, it would be better cause Grandpa has a hard time taking care of her.” Yuri picked at his lip and wiggled a leg as he sat and started sinking into his own brain and thoughts.  
  
“Okay. Bring her whenever. I have the space. For now though I wasn't you to go shower. I’ll get you stuff. You need to warm up.” Otabek turned and headed down the hallway and grabbed some things from the linen closet and then went into his room. Yuri awkwardly stood in front of the couch and waited for his friend to come back. He was now bleeding from his lip from pulling at the skin so hard but he didn’t even notice.  
  
Beka came back with a pair of tieable sweatpants and a large sweatshirt that he knew Yuri would love. The sweater was his favorite color, violet.  
  
Beka noticed that Yuri was bleeding but decided to let him be. It would probably be fine after he showered anyway. He silently handed everything to the younger man and carefully led him to the bathroom. When he turned around to face the blonde he noticed that his eyes were slightly glazed over and it worried him. He started to silently walk away and heard Yuri close and lock the door. That was how Otabek knew something really bad had happened. Yuri had never locked a door around him before.  
  
The ravenette heard the shower start up and decided to boil some water and get Yuri’s favorite tea ready. Chrysanthemum sachets were kept in a special air-tight container in Otabek’s furthest cabinet. There is a reason but only he knows it.  
  
As he stood at the counter and daydreamed he heard a fairly soft thud but was still concerned. He walked to the bathroom and lightly knocked on the door before calling to Yuri. He got no response so he repeated but louder. After the fourth try he decided that this was not okay. He tried once more and actually yelled. It was the loudest he had ever been in his life. He still got no response.  
  
“Yuri I’m gonna bust the door in if you don’t respond in five seconds.” Otabek pressed his ear harder to the door and listened desperately. He heard a sob and decided the door didn’t matter. He backed up and kicked the door close to the handle and wood splintered and the door crashed open.  
  
“Help me.” Was all that the ravenette barely heard from the shower. He quickly sifted through the pile of things he had handed Yuri and yanked out the towel, knocking everything else to the floor.  
  
He quickly pulled the shower curtain back and hurriedly covered the blonde on the bottom of the bathtub with the towel in his hands. He saw faint amounts of blood flowing down the drain and his face paled.  
  
“Yuri. Where are you bleeding from? I can help but you need to talk.” Otabek was going to start looking the blonde over but he was suddenly grasped around both wrists.  
  
“Please don’t. You will cry.” Yuri kept his head down and used his hair to hide. His grip was weak and he was shaking. Otabek reached up and turned the shower off to keep it from turning cold.  
  
“I’m picking you up and bringing you to lay down. You will tell me and let me see. Understood?” Otabek waited until he was given one nod. He reached into the bathtub and picked up the nude figure covered by the towel. Yuri cried out only once and then grit his teeth and refused to let himself make noise.  
  
Beka stood easily as Yuri only weighed one hundred and fifteen pounds and his five foot and five inches frame was very slim and toned. Otabek then carefully walked to his guest room before he heard a whisper and felt it against his neck.  
  
“Your room. Please.” And Otabek changed route and walked to his room. He set Yuri onto his bed and saw him wince. He leaned to his lamp and pulled the string and sucked in a breath.  
  
Yuri’s arms were covered in small bruises and the parts of his chest that could be seen were covered in scratches that were puffy and some were bleeding. Otabek looked at Yuri’s exposed legs as the blonde held his breath. The towel barely covered them and what Otabek saw let him know his worst thoughts were correct. Yuri’s thighs had handprints and bruises all over them. His legs were also scratched and bleeding along with his arms and chest. What made Otabek almost throw up was when he realized that the water running down Yuri’s legs was mixed heavily with blood and it was fresh blood.  
  
“Yuri. I need you to communicate okay? You don’t have to talk but I need you to nod. Okay?” Beka didn’t dare sit down as he was afraid of startling his friend and making him worse.  
  
“Okay.” Yuri choked out. Beka handed him a blanket from the foot of the bed to cover with and then leaned against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest.  
  
“Yuri, were you raped?” The blonde flinched and then stopped breathing. He quickly gave one nod and then curled into a ball.  
  
“Your mom, did she have it done?” Another nod.  
  
“One person?” Otabek was fighting the bile in his throat. Yuri hesitated but then shook his head.  
  
Otabek ran to the bathroom and vomited. He wanted to be strong for his friend but the last answer just ruined him. Multiple people had held the small blonde down and had their way. He retched again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are appreciated


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rape and bleeding mentions be careful please

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The website I used for my info  
> https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/bleeding-after-anal-sex#see-a-doctor

Chapter 4

Yuri could hear his friend throwing up in the bathroom a couple of doors down. He knew he was disgusted. He must not want to be his friend anymore. He was dirty and weak. Who would want to be friends with sewer trash like him? Yuri buried his head in his knees with a wince and sobbed.  
  
Otabek stayed in the bathroom and pulled out his phone. He needed to call his mom. He had absolutely no clue what to do or if Yuri needed a doctor. There might not be as much blood as he thought because of the water but he was still really scared that Yuri could be severely injured. The phone rang twice and then a voice was heard.  
  
“Hi baby, are you okay? It’s really early in the morning.” His mom said groggily and he could hear the blankets her blankets rustele as she sat up.  
  
“Mom. I’m really scared. It’s Yuri.” Otabek managed to get out with a shaky voice. He could barely hold onto his phone.  
  
“Sweety I’m sure it’s okay. What’s going on with the baby?” His mom was suddenly very awake but making sure to stay calm. She had never heard her son like this. Even after he had hit his first animal on his motrcycle.  
  
“Mom. I. God I promised him. I promised to keep secrets Mom. I don’t want to tell you and have him hate me.” Otabek was so torn. He knew he needed help with this but didn;t want his friend to leave him over it either.  
  
“Baby. If he is truly your friend, I think he will understand. If not it is better that he is safe than not. You can tell me. I won’t be mad.” This made Otabek take a big breath and nod to himself.  
  
“Mom. Yuri. He. God Mom. He was raped. Badly. By more than one person. I didn’t know it was this bad. I thought it was just his mom being her horrible self again. But he went to take a shower and after he wasn’t responsive I had to break in. He never locks doors around me, Mom. He was in the bottom of the tub and I picked him up in a towel and brought him to my room. He is covered in bruises and cuts and scratches. Mom he’s bleeding. There was blood going down the drain and down his legs. But he is covered in water so it mixed and I have no clue how bad it really is. What do I do?” Otabek took a big shaky breath. His Mom was stunned as this was one of the longest things her child had said but then all the blood drained from her face as what he had just said settled in. That blonde baby. He’s been hurt and she isn’t there to help. She could help on this damn phone though. She took a deep breath too and began to help her boy.  
  
“Otabek you need to check the bleeding. Wherever he is sitting or whatever he is wearing, check it as soon as you get off of the phone. You need to dress that boy in layers and do anything he needs. He should want for nothing. Give him the stuffed tiger you were going to give him for christmas. He needs it now not then. Stay by him to watch and make sure he doesn’t hurt himself. Tell me what the bleeding is like over text. Make sure to tell him that I know and that I love him and will help if he wants it, okay?” Otabek shakily stood from where he had crumpled in front of his toilet and steadied himself. He needed to be strong an brave for the blonde in his room.  
  
“Okay. Please stay awake and watch your phone. I’ll update in a while.” Otabek said goodbye and gave his mom a kiss on the cheek over his phone. Once he hung up he got to work.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Otabek went into his room and saw Yuri in a ball and he was shaking and crying. With the blonde’s legs up Otabek was able to see where the bleeding was coming from. He forced the bile back into his stomach and walked into his closet.  
  
He grabbed all of the sweaters he knew Yuri would love and a couple pairs of sweatpants for him to choose from as long as a few pairs of socks. He quietly set the clothes out on the end of the bed for Yuri to see and choose from.  
  
He then walked to the bathroom with a large bowl. He filled it with warm water and grabbed a cloth and hung it over the edge of it. He walked in with that and set it on the side table next to Yuri’s still shaking figure.  
  
He then went to the kitchen and picked up the electric kettle that he had been boiling water in and checked it. It was still very warm so he poured it into a large purple mug. He then dropped the tea bag into that mug and on his way back to his room he stopped at the linen closet.  
  
He set the mug on the floor carefully and dug out the tiger and certificate that went with it. It was the official adoption of a tiger named Gorabi and it came with a picture of her on the preserve.  
  
He picked up the four items and walked to Yuri. He took a big breath and walked in to comfort the blonde.  
  
“Yurs. Look up.” The blonde did and stopped breathing because of what he saw. Otabek with his mug in one hand and a stuffed tiger tucked under the other while the spare hand held a couple of papers in it.  
  
The blonde stared with huge eyes as Otabek carefully approached and handed him the mug. Yuri almost started crying again when he smelled the tea. Chrysanthemum with a bit of honey. His favorite. Otabek then gingerly held out the tiger. Yuri took it and read the collar.  
  
“Gorabi. I like it very much.” Yuri managed to squeak out. He stroked the fur and held it to his nose. The plushie smelled just like his friend. He didn’t care that he could almost drool at how good the smell was. It was relaxing him and made him feel safe and he just loved how warm it made him feel.  
  
“Yurs. There’s more. It was for christmas but what time is better than the present, right?” Otabek then held out the bigger paper and Yuri read it. Big fat tears rolled down his face and he almost, almost, smiled. He then noticed Otabek held out one more thing and when Yuri took it he saw a beautiful tiger sunbathing in tall grass.  
  
“Th-thank you.” Yuri managed to say. He was shaking horribly and was extremely dizzy but he managed a small curl of his lips.  
  
“Turn it over.” Otabek had crossed his arms over his chest and nodded to the picture with a faint blush.  
  
“A beautiful tiger for a beautiful boy.” Yuri blushed horribly after reading the sentence aloud. Surely it was platonic. No it was platonic there was no other way to interpret it.  
  
“This last thing I am going to say will not make you happy. Yuri, I didn’t know what to do. I- I called my mom. I got help from her. She told me a couple things but a few other things were my idea. She said to tell you she loves you and supports you. I do too.” Otabek barely said the last part. He watched as Yuri set his mug and stuffy down next to the now cold bowl of water. Otabek was afraid of what was going to happen or how his friend was going to react.  
  
“You had to. It’s okay. I love her too. And you.” Yuri blushed madly and Otabek definitely noticed. He melted a bit and almost cried.  
  
“You're not mad? You aren’t gonna yell?” Otabek looked at the blonde with watery eyes and was barely still standing.  
  
“No. I’m not.” Yuri then picked up his tea and tiger again and went back to sipping the hot beverage. He understood why Otabek did what he did. The blonde trusted the biker’s mom and loved her a lot. He was okay with his friend’s decision.  
  
“Yuri. She said something else. The bleeding. I need to know how much you are actually bleeding. Not the scary scene of it mixing with water.” Otabek looked up and Yuri saw the fear in his eyes. Yuri set the tea back down and nodded. He grabbed a lavender hoodie and put it on. He pulled it down and it went about halfway down his thighs.  
  
“What do you need me to do?” He whispered. He didn’t want to have his friend look at his ass but if he had to he would let it happen.  
  
“Um, Mom texted and suggested you hold a clean towel against the area for a minute or so and then we look. Maybe just use your towel to sit on? Then sit for a few minutes while we talk a bit if it’s okay with you?  
  
Otabek suggested and Yuri immediately nodded. Otabek turned as Yuri got up and got under the now bloodied blanket and sat on the towel as instructed. When Otabek turned around the blonde was looking down into his mug again.  
  
“Now we wait”


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6  
  
“Yuri. This needs to be reported. I don’t really think you should avoid the hospital either.” Otabek sat against the wall by the side of the bed the Yuri was sitting on. He had tried to sit at the end of the bed but noticed how Yuri barely flinched and decided against it. The blonde was also still just staring at the clothes and seemed to be too overwhelmed to dress himself.  
  
“I can’t right now. But maybe after I get some sleep. I could only do it if you came with though.” Yuri murmured into his tea. He shifted a bit and winced openly. It must hurt badly if he can’t hide it Otabek thought to himself.  
  
“Yuri, you need to stay warm. Do you want a sweater? The blanket needs to be changed anyway. I can help you.” Otabek cautiously asked the blonde and waited for whatever reaction he would have.  
  
A minute or so passed and suddenly a tear rolled down Yuri’s cheek. He sniffled and refused to look at his friend as he spoke.  
  
“I need help. I just don’t know if I can handle you seeing the rest and touching me.” Yuri set his mug aside and hugged his arms around himself. He shuddered and Otabek could see the goosebumps ripple across Yuri’s exposed back and made the decision himself.  
  
“I can handle whatever else you are worried about me seeing. You are freezing and you don’t need a cold. I have also seen you buck naked in the locker room before, Yurs.” Otabek carefully stood and went to the foot of the bed to help Yuri choose clothes.  
  
“You have only ever seen the back of me and you have never had to dress me. Just, promise to be quiet and gentle. I can’t handle any comments or jostling.” Yuri still refused to look up but Otabek could see that his ears were covered in a blush.  
  
“Yuri I swear I will say nothing and will be as careful as I possibly can. Now, clothes. Which sweater,” Yuri pointed to the lavender as expected, “Which boxers,” Yuri chose lime green tiger stripes, Otabek wanted him in loose clothes to let things breathe, so no boxer briefs, “Okay and sweats,” black pants were chosen, “Last is socks. Whatcha want?” Yuri took a moment and surprised Otabek by picking socks with guinea pigs on them.  
  
“Please go slower. Like as slow as possible.” Yuri leaned away as Otabek approached. Otabek decided to model the sloth from ZooTopia.  
  
“Ooookaaaayy I will go sloooooow.” Otabek attempted to joke as he very carefully reached to get Yuri to release the blanket. The blonde did so with a quick smile at the Ravenette’s joke.  
  
Yuri refused to open his eyes as the blanket dropped to his waist and Otabek really looked at his torso. Some of the scratches were open and were begging for treatment but Otabek refrained. He knew it was already difficult for Yuri to let him help him dress. Touching him all over to apply bandages and ointment would be too far right now. Otabek carefully fed Yuri’s arms through the sleeves to the hoodie and watched the younger’s face for any signs that he was hurting too much. The hoodie got on after a few minutes and Yuri let out a very shaky breath as he gave himself sweater paws and with Otabek’s help put the hood over his damp hair.  
  
Next Otabek decided to put the socks on. He very slowly pulled the blanket up to Yuri’s knees and watched to make sure he was not being stopped. The older grabbed the guinea pig crew socks and bunched them up to make it easier to get them on. His fingers brushed up Yuri’s leg as he put the sock on and Yuri stopped breathing. Otabek let go immediately and waited for Yuri to give a signal that he was okay. Once the blonde nodded the older man used the tips of his fingers to pull the sock the rest of the way up and then did that with its partner. He left the blanket up and reached for the boxers. He put both of Yuri’s feet through the leg holes and pulled them up to his knees and then had an idea.  
  
He made a duck bill and opened and closed it while pointing to himself to ask for permission to speak. After a couple minutes of deep breaths Yuri nodded his head.  
  
“If I lifted you a bit do you think you could pull those up the rest of the way? Then I don’t have to see your front and you could be more comfortable.” Otabek whispered as if Yuri was a rare bird that he could not afford to frighten.  
  
“I can try but I really don't know if I can.” Yuri whispered too as if the comfortable silence would shatter and he would shatter with it.  
  
“Let’s try. Say stop if something is not working okay?” Otabek watched and Yuri quickly nodded. It seemed that he was freezing but it was really his frayed nerves making the blonde quake.  
  
Otabek took as long as he could to climb into the bed and gently grasp under Yuri’s arms. He slowly counted to three and lifted. Yuri almost shrieked. Otabek quickly but gently placed him down and then put space between them to let the blonde calm down. He watched as Yuri sobbed and stared at the boxers still around his knees.  
  
“I just want clothes on. I want to be covered. I’m so scared. It hurts so bad.” Yuri sobbed. He clutched at himself and Otabek wanted to scoop him into his arms and protect him.  
  
Yuri then did what he least expected. He reached towards Otabek. Otabek carefully approached and Yuri minutely leaned towards him. Otabek stood at the side of the bed and hugged his friend. Yuri was leaned very far over and was uncomfortable as he sobbed. He refused to let go of Otabek as he sat up and ended up dragging the older into the bed with him. He clung to the Ravenette’s side and sobbed as his back was gently rubbed and an arm stayed around his waist. Otabek could only sit shocked and silent as Yuri worked through the panic, pain and frustration.  
  
“You have to put them on. What you will see is bad. Just leave it and don’t talk about it.” Yuri managed to squeeze out. Otabek simply nodded and slowly got behind the blonde. The older man kneeled and put Yuri in the middle of his knees. They touched no where until Otabek reached forward and gripped the waistband of the boxers.  
  
Yuri felt the pressure on his back and the fingertips carefully moving up his legs. He squeezed his eyes closed and focused on breathing. He reminded himself that this was only his best friend. No one was going to hurt him and no one was going to force him to do anything.  
  
“Yuri, I need to take the blanket off now. Your front should be covered a bit but the blanket is in the way.” A very soft and low voice whispered a small distance from Yuri’s ear.  
  
The blonde swallowed hard and tried to breathe. He got himself under control and was able to nod his head to signal that he was ready.  
  
The coolness of the air after the blanket moved made Yuri shiver and the wounds stung. His thighs were gouged horribly and covered in dried blood. There were handprints everywhere and the tiny bit of his stomach that was exposed also had handprint bruises on it.  
  
Otabek moved in front of Yuri and saw all of this and he felt his heart stop. He wanted to cry but knew that he couldn’t. Yuri needed him to have a poker face. He quickly swallowed and got himself back in emergency mode.  
  
“Put your arms around my neck and hold on. I’ll lift you a tiny bit and pull these on.” Otabek waited for Yuri to have a good grip and then counted to three once again. As he stared down the blonde’s back Otabek saw Yuri’s lower back. He saw how marred his skin really was. What he was horrified by were the scratches that disappeared underneath Yuri. His back end looked like it had been mauled by a feral cat. He took a deep breath as he pulled the boxers on and very quickly pulled the towel out from underneath his friend.  
  
As he set Yuri back down by bending back down while kneeling in front of him, he heard a small whimper. He winced but straightened his face before he sat back up. He helped Yuri lay back against pillows and he frowned as he stared at the sweatpants.  
  
“Leave them. I can’t right now.” Otabek almost jumped as Yuri startled him out of his thoughts. He then remembered that he was still holding the towel so he held it up to examine it.  
  
He didn’t see a big blood spot just something a couple inches in diameter. But there was also blood in other areas. It must be from the open wounds covering his back end. Otabek winces and throws the towel into his hamper so that Yuri doesn’t have to keep staring at the blood.  
  
“What do you want to do right now?” Otabek keeps calm and quiet just as Yuri had wanted and waits for the blonde to delegate.  
  
“Sleep. I need sleep.” Yuri shivers as he no longer has a blanket. Otabek notices and goes into his closet and comes out with a plush blanket for his friend. He then moves to walk away from the bed but a weak hand grasps his wrist. He looks back and Yuri can only mouth ‘stay’. Otabek nods and grabs a pillow to sleep on the floor with. Yuri still doesn’t let go. He instead shakes his head and pulls on his friends arm gently. The blonde has yet to lift his head so Otabek has only been staring at the hood on the younger man's head. Now Yuri looks up with terrified eyes and tears running down his face.  
  
“Okay. Don’t worry. Let me get a blanket quick.” Otabek grabs another soft blanket from his closet and walks back to the side of the bed and waits for the shaking figure to speak.  
  
“I need you.” The huddled blonde manages to hoarsely whisper. He manages to look up and fat tears are running down his cheeks as bloodshot eyes stare and beg.  
  
“I won’t leave. I promise. May I get in?” Otabek holds the hand that reaches to him again and points to the bed. Yuri nods and Otabek very carefully climbs into the bed with his own fluffy blanket. Yuri refuses to let go of his hand as he lays shivering and crying.  
  
“Can I hug you?” Otabek starts a bit when he hears the tiny voice squeak out the words. He silently nods and holds his arm up for Yuri. The blonde settles almost in his armpit and lays his head on his friend’s chest to listen to his heartbeat and lets it lull him to sleep.  
  
“Good night, Yuri.” Otabek pets the blonde hair under his chin and takes a deep breath. He closes his eyes to try and sleep before the next day arrives and with it, a number of trials and troubles.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER*****  
> Night terrors  
> Hyperventilating(brief)  
> Panic Attack (Very brief)

Chapter 7  
  
Otabek had only just started to relax and doze when his phone gently buzzes on the nightstand. He leans over and grabs it and carefully unlocks it while making sure not to wake Yuri.  
  
Mom: Hey baby how’s it going?  
  
Otabek: It’s bad. Not life threatening but it’s bad.  
  
Mom: Do either of you need anything?  
  
Otabek: Not right now. Yuri wouldn’t be able to handle it.  
  
Mom: Okay baby. Let me know if you or Sunlight need anything.  
  
Otabek: I will mom. Get some sleep.  
  
Mom: I love you my little cub.  
  
Otabek: I love you.  
  
Otabek sighed and set his phone back down on it’s charging pad. He gently carded his fingers through Yuri’s hair and tried to take deep breaths. He was absolutely at a loss of what to do and knew he would need help. He just couldn’t do anything without asking Yuri first. He continued to stroke Yuri’s hair until the small blonde began to tremble.  
  
Otabek expected this. Everyone has night terrors after major stress and abuse. He carefully pulled Yuri into a tight hug and began humming Magic Shop by BTS into the blonde’s ear. Yuri may not look the type but he loved kpop and even knew a little korean. Otabek had taken it upon himself to learn what songs calmed his friend and helped him stay stable.  
  
Yuri moved a bit in Otabek’s arms and tucked his face into the older’s neck, just under his jaw, and whimpered. The blonde suddenly clung to the other man’s shirt and a spot of wetness could be felt by Otabek on his neck. He began to do his best to gently rock his friend while still humming into the smaller man’s ear.  
  
Yuri suddenly yelled and forced his way out of Otabek’s arms and into a sitting position, his hands up as if he was entering a fist fight. Otabek slowly and carefully sat up and looked Yuri in the eyes while gently smiling.  
  
“I-I- I just don’t, I want- help me. I can’t breathe.” Yuri struggled to form a sentence and suddenly began to hyperventilate. When Otabek heard him say that he couldn’t breathe he knew that he needed to administer deep pressure therapy.  
  
While looking Yuri in the eyes as the blonde spiraled, Otabek opened his arms and waited for Yuri to initiate touching. Yuri scrambled to Otabek and latched onto his torso. Otabek wrapped him in his arms and legs and squeezed while coaxing Yuri to follow his breathing.  
  
Once Yuri began to breathe properly Otabek decided to hum Serendipity by Park Jimin. It was a slow song and had a smooth melody. Otabek knew it would be easy for Yuri to follow and focus on.  
  
“Tired.” Yuri finally murmured. He still held onto Otabek but it was more because he wanted something to hold than a desperate need for someone to help him.  
  
Otabek nodded and laid them down. He still held Yuri close to his chest but he did stretch his legs out until Yuri grabbed one with both of his smaller legs and refused to let go. Otabek sighed and rubbed Yuri’s back gently to help the blonde to sleep.  
  
“You are my calico cat.” Otabek murmured when he was sure Yuri was asleep. He tucked Yuri closer to him and relaxed. He knew he would have a lot to come in the days ahead and knew he needed rest. Otabek closed his eyes and finally fell into a proper sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Night terrors and tiny mention of blood (he stopped bleeding)  
> This is a sort of filler chapter with fluff.

Chapter 8  
  
“Stop! Please! No more. I can’t.” Otabek jerked awake as Yuri thrashed in his sleep. Otabek quickly moved away and let the night terror work itself out. He had googled what to do the first time Yuri had slept over because he had screamed in his sleep. It was safer to let this ride out on its own.  
  
Otabek had to cover his mouth tightly with his hand to muffle his sobs as he watched the blonde struggle in the middle of the bed. He couldn’t imagine the pain he had already been through and now his own brain was torturing him.  
  
Suddenly Yuri went limp but his eyes slowly opened. He flinched when he saw Otabek standing off to the side of the bed and quickly curled in on himself.  
  
“Yuri It’s Otabek. You’re safe in my apartment. Can you talk?” Otabek watched carefully as Yuri slightly unraveled himself from the blankets he clutched. The blonde shook his head but held out a hand for Otabek to hold. With a subtle tug Otabek knew he was granted permission to rejoin the smaller man in bed. The ravenette laid down carefully and Yuri quickly clung to him.  
  
The younger was trembling and silent tears of sheer terror rolled down his cheeks. Otabek slowly traced circles onto Yuri’s back and held him close to his side. He waited for Yuri to finally take a deep breath and relax a bit before he spoke again.  
  
“Do you want to talk about it?”  
  
A head shake.  
  
“Would you like some toast? Some tea?”  
  
A nod.  
  
Otabek went to get up but Yuri found himself unable to let go. With a human attached to him Otabek was unable to get anywhere let alone make food and tea.  
  
“I’m still in the bed but I need you to let me sit up.” Yuri nodded and clung to Otabek’s waist instead. The ravenette sat up and took off his tshirt and stuffed a pillow into it. He then handed it to Yuri who snatched it and hugged it tightly.  
  
“That okay for now? I’ll only be a few minutes.” A nod. Otabek left the room and closed the door behind himself. He took a deep and shaky breath while leaning against the door. This was going to be even worse than he had imagined and he was sure they were nowhere near the worst of what was to come.  
  
He stood on wobbly legs and walked to the kitchen. He turned on the electric kettle and put some bread into the toaster. He grabbed the butter and strawberry jelly while also grabbing the honey.  
  
Once the toast popped up he dropped it onto a plate that was on a tray. Otabek then poured two mugs of hot water while grabbing four types of tea. The jelly, butter and honey were also placed on the tray with a butter knife and Otabek then picked up and brought it down the hallway. He placed the tray on the floor to open the door and once he got to the night stand he heard Yuri whispering.  
  
“-it. Lock it.” Otabek pet Yuri's hair and quickly walked to lock the door. He also picked a shirt from his dresser and pulled it over his head. While he gently sat back down Yuri sniffled and tried to sit up. He winced and a small whimper escaped his lips. Otabek frowned and helped him sit up while propped up against pillows.  
  
“Now, what tea?” The ravenette pointed to what he had brought and Yuri immediately chose spiced apple. The toast was gently munched after Otabek helped Yuri spread what he wanted on it. The tshirt pillow stayed tucked in Yuri’s lap and he never loosened his legs from clenching around it.  
  
When breakfast was finished bot men laid back down and Yuri pointed at his own wrist.  
  
“Idk what that is Yurs.” Otabek watched as Yuri screwed up his face as he seemed to be struggling with something. He then sighed and then pointed to Otabek’s own wrist.  
  
“Oh! It’s about nine-thirty.” Otabek quickly picked up his phone to show Yuri the time and noticed he had missed a call from his mom. He quickly texted her that all blood had stopped and that they just needed some time. A simple okay and heart was the reply and Otabek turned his phone off.  
  
“Wanna watch ‘Too Cute’?” Otabek tilted his head down and saw a small glimmer in Yuri’s eyes as he nodded.  
  
The two of them spent the rest of the day in bed while watching cute baby animals and Otabek carefully doted on his friend. Ice water was all Yuri would request but Otabek made his favorite ramen so he couldn’t resist eating.  
  
“Yuri, I want you to know that you are one of the most important people in my life. I will do everything in my power to protect you.” Otabek whispered into Yuri’s hair when a sudden sob attack struck the blonde.  
  
“Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment! I love hearing from you all!


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